The Weekend Struggle

I love the weekend. I mean, I LOVE the weekend!!! I love not being at work, not having to do anything I don't want to do. I love catching up on chores around the house, and I love getting to relax with my handsome fiance!

However, I do NOT love the temptations the weekends bring. Monday through Friday I have everything planned out for me. I eat my prepped meals, and I have dinner planned, and everything I make for dinner can be adjusted to my low-carb diet and for Aaron to still enjoy what he's eating. On the weekends though, all of my planning seems to just float out the window.

Me, basically.

I make a lot of excuses. Most of the excuses I come up with have a lot of plot holes, though. I can't eat my egg cups because I don't have a microwave at home....why don't you make fresh ones? Or just make some bacon and eggs? At lunch time, we're out doing stuff so we pick something up...why not order a salad or get a burger with no bun? At dinner....it's Friday/Saturday/Sunday! I deserve a cheat meal! Uhhh, hello?!? You've been cheating all weekend!!!!!! 

I really make myself mad sometimes. I've been trying harder though! Lifestyle changes are not easy. Slip-ups are inevitable, but I have to be mindful of my goals at all times. I really should just tattoo "GOALS" on the backs of my hands so that when I reach for that slice of pizza, I remember that I should probably reconsider my choices. 

I've gotta take it one meal at a time. 

I'm a work in progress! <3

Meal Prepping

I have found that meal prepping is so important.

Like.

SO IMPORTANT.

It makes lunchtime easy and keeps me from giving in to temptations. Most people don't want to waste food if they brought it, and when you know you already have something healthy in the break room, it makes it easier to say no to Taco Tuesday in the cafeteria. I won't even try to convince myself "I'll just eat my lunch tomorrow" because I know myself, and I definitely will not eat it the next day. The vicious cycle will take over, so I better just stick to it!

I usually prep twice a week, but I only do lunches, and sometimes breakfast. For lunch, I make about 3 days worth of food, because I'm kind of weird about eating left overs and anything past 3 days old, I get grossed out when I try to eat it. I

Lately I've been sticking to chicken breast and veggies for lunch. I buy the French Onion Lipton Recipe Secrets and mix it in water, then boil the chicken in it. It gives it a pretty good flavor, because bland chicken can be hard to eat if you aren't used to it. I never did, so I steadily use the broth. If you aren't on a low-carb diet, you can use the broth for your rice and it's reaaaaally good! (can you tell I'm starting to miss my carbs? haha!) Then I'll cut up my chicken into small pieces for easier measuring, and give myself about a cup.

For my veggies (because you need fiber!) I always buy frozen. It just makes it way easier on me, and I know that I'll eat it. In my opinion, you can never go wrong with frozen vegetables because they freeze them right after it's harvested and washed, so you always get them fresh! A lot of people don't like frozen vegetables because they say they "taste frozen," and honestly, I used to think that too! But I guess I've just gotten used to the taste. You can always just make your own fresh veggies, but it's just too much of a hassle for me. And personally, the only canned vegetable I'll eat is green beans. Anything else is usually starchy and has little nutritional value. One cup of veggies is what I'll put in my container, sometimes a little more because no one ever died of eating too many vegetables.

That might not be true, actually. I've never looked that up.

For my breakfast prep that I do sometimes, I make my own rendition of an egg muffin/cup recipe I found on Pinterest (see below!). It's really simple and tastes however you want them to taste. I make mine in a silicon muffin-baking-thing (what are those things called???). If I'm making a dozen, I'll use 10-12 eggs and blend them, add some spinach that I tore up into bite sized pieces, and whatever other ingredients I find that sound yummy! Some people saute any veggies they use, but I only do that if I'm cooking meat too (two birds, one stone). I'm all about saving time. Put them in the oven at 350 for 15-20 minutes, and voila! Once they cool, I'll wrap them in saran wrap in twos so they're ready to go in the morning, and then pop 'em in the microwave for 45 seconds once I get to work. They're tasty, healthy, and usually low carb, depending on what you add to them I guess!


Wanna try? Click here!


Happy prepping :)

PCOS: What it is and why it makes losing weight even more difficult

When I was in high school, around the time I started gaining weight again, I also started noticing that I had an irregular period. At first it was every two-three months, and then it was 5 months, and before I knew it, I hadn't had my period for over a year. I went to the doctor, and at first he told me that it was probably PCOS. Well, they did some blood work and told me everything was fine, I just needed to lose weight.

When I was 18 I started on Birth Control from Planned Parenthood, and I was on it until I was 20. I eventually stopped taking it because I didn't like the way I felt on it. As soon as I stopped, so did my period. After 2 or 3 months, I decided to go see my OB/GYN and find out what was wrong.

I told my doctor my symptoms: I'd gained about 30 lbs after stopping birth control, I had irregular periods, hair started growing under my chin, and I was ALWAYS tired. Well,  she did an sonogram, and sure enough, I had poly-cystic ovaries.

WebMD

Poly-cystic ovaries are caused by a hormone imbalance. Typically the ovaries produce a small amount of androgen's (male sex hormone). Poly-cystic ovaries produce more androgen's than normal, which causes ovulation to stop, acne, and excess body and facial hair. (source)

I am not an expert on PCOS. If you are concerned that you may have PCOS, please see your physician for diagnosis and treatment.

I'll admit, when I first found out, I was just glad to have a diagnosis. And then reality set in. It wasn't pretty. In fact I became depressed for a few months. I felt hopeless. I felt like "I'm never going to be able to have kids and I'll always be fat." That was just my life, now.

Once I accepted that I had PCOS and it was just something I would have to deal with, I started doing my research. I was on threads and getting weekly emails from support groups. Most of the women were struggling with trying to get pregnant, which wasn't (and STILL isn't) what I needed. I just wanted to know how to live my day-to-day. I want to be healthy.

Everything I was reading kept mentioning that PCOS can lead to diabetes because it causes insulin resistance. Therefore, the best diet for someone with PCOS is sugar-free and low carb. It's definitely difficult, especially considering how much I love bread and pasta and chocolate cake. But I basically have to learn to live without it, or only have it a couple times a year. I can actually feel a difference when I start eating sugar and carbs again. I swear my knees start to hurt more due to inflammation, I become fatigued more easily, and I just feel....puffy. It sucks, y'all.

I've started and restarted my keto diet so many times I've lost count. It's not easy by any means, but when I do it and stick with it, it definitely works.

So, I'm back on the keto wagon, and I'm trying to exercise at least 4 times a week. I know that I'll have slip-ups and bad weeks, but I just want this to stick this time. I've started over way too many times, I'm ready for this to be the real deal!

My Story

Do people even blog anymore?
Or does everyone just use Facebook or Tumblr or Instagram?

Anyway, my purpose of creating this blog is because....I need somewhere to keep track of my journey in an exciting way. I don't want to just spam my family and friends with my talk about weight loss when they don't actually care. If anyone does care, then they can just find me here.

So, from the top....here we go!

I've been overweight for the majority of my life. I remember being a mostly happy little kid, but somewhere between my parents getting divorced and moving 3 hours away from my dad, I remember the conversation about my weight happening the first time. First I remember my brother, Ernie, saying something. I think he must have overheard my mom on the phone with someone, voicing her concerns about my weight. I don't remember Ernie's exact words, to be honest, but it was something along the lines of "Mom says your fat and she doesn't want you to end up looking like ______." The reason I'm leaving that blank is because I was compared to a family member, and I try to avoid hurting people's feelings.

Then, I remember my mom talking to me. I remember her calling me into her room and sitting down on her bed, and talking about healthy choices. Mind you, I was only about 7 or 8 at this point. Again, I don't remember the specifics, and my mom never blatantly said "lose weight," but now, I look back knowing my mom wanted me to lose weight. This was the start of my very unhealthy relationship with food. Or maybe it was just the first time I became aware of it. It's hard to pinpoint something like that. Obviously if my weight had already become a concern, then I'd already been using food as a coping mechanism...right? Probably.

Anyway, years went on. I remember in 5th grade going to our family doctor, Dr. Thompson. I stood on the scale and I weighed in at 120 lbs at the ripe age of 11 years old. While that isn't terrible, it isn't exactly ideal either. I asked Dr. Thompson if 120 was high, and his response was "Well, if you can maintain that weight then you will be fine." So, what I heard was Stay this weight for a year or so when he probably actually meant Stay this weight for the rest of your life. For comparison, 120 lbs is currently the ideal weight for my height of 5'2.

I started getting teased in 5th grade, too. A boy who I had a crush on started calling me "Tubbaroo" and while the nickname is unique, it really hurt my feelings. In 6th, I had a solid group of friends who would stand up for me when people would talk crap, and it mostly stopped. In 8th grade I was about 175 and I made a New Year Resolution to lose 30 lbs. I worked a little harder in athletics at school and tried to make healthier choices when at home. I lost some weight, but it wasn't fast enough to make me happy. That summer I became friends with a girl who was a junior in high school. She was a bulimic. She never really told me about it, and definitely didn't tell me to try it, but learning about it made me think "That's what I need to be doing to lose weight." So I did that for a few months and lost a few more pounds. Then once I started high school I didn't ever eat breakfast or lunch, only dinner at home, and it was usually just something small. So in that year I got down to my goal weight of about 145, but it didn't last for long. In the summer of 2008, this guy who I dated for about 2 months broke up with me. Rumors flew that it was because I wasn't skinny enough. Instead of continuing my unhealthy weight loss habits, I went the total opposite direction and started binge eating. Like, every day. I couldn't tell you why I started doing it...maybe all of that hunger from the previous year caught up with me.

Fast forward to now, I'm currently at.........223 lbs. I haven't publicly shared that number with anyone, and it isn't even my highest weight. I've already lost 20 lbs since the beginning of the year, thanks to a low carb diet. I did it for about 2 months and have stopped since. I'm starting it up again and am exercising also. I'm getting married to a wonderful man named Aaron in November. I bought a dress already that is a size 18 and it fits me as of now. But, I think I'm going to go ahead and make the sacrifice and keep working toward my goal. If I have to I'll buy a dress off the rack and pin it up to fit. I just can't keep making excuses. I want to feel good in my skin at my wedding.

So, my friends, this is my journey: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Let's make it happen!